INHUMANE LOVE

Its not that easy to stay in love,
To stay committed no matter what.
Its so difficult for the mind to do exactly what the heart wants.
One day its so beautiful and exciting, another day its just drab and annoying.
Even when you are not doing all the work. When the person you love, loves you more.
It feels so impossible trying to measure up.
Trying to stay true to a love so pure and undemanding.
A part of you wants to give your all, another part... Well preety much does not seem interested.
Sometimes you get selfish "but I didn't ask for all this" but then you have it, after all its not nice to throw away gifts right? (Hmmm)
Honestly thinking of this alone makes me weak. Not just because its an important part of me, but because it is a major part of my existence.
To love because I was loved first and would never stop being loved.
But what is all this now?!
I know how good, happy and excited I felt the first time I realised, I remember the tears that fell from my eyes when you stopped telling me and actually showed me how much you care.
But how can you love me like this, human and all with a love so inhumane.
Why would a spirit love a soul that lives in a body? Lord I don't understand.
And I don't want to believe that I stand beneath you because of this.
But just as I sought and found your love, teach me to rest in it.